Social Security and Significant Others

A reader from Pennsylvania asks about whether a significant other can access Social Security benefits.

“Can I leave my Social Security to a significant other?"

A significant other can typically only receive benefits from your Social Security if they are your spouse, dependent child, or dependent parent – which is different from the common use of the phrase “significant other.”

If it’s a relationship where you're not married, that’s not how spousal or survivor benefits work.

Before the marriage equality movement gained momentum, some states recognized same-sex marriages and various relationship statuses that weren’t officially labeled as “married,” granting some of the rights typically given to spouses. If you were considered married in your state, Social Security would acknowledge that status for spousal or survivor benefits because you were legally unable to get married.

Some other states established various legal arrangements that provided specific rights. These might be called “civil unions” or “domestic unions,” and Social Security recognized them if they met certain criteria.

Then, in 2015, a Supreme Court decision made same-sex marriage legal nationwide, so there is no longer a legal barrier to marriage. With that barrier removed, Social Security has resumed its policy that you must be married to receive spousal or survivor benefits. 

So, to answer your question, you need to be married to receive spousal benefits.

Also, you used the phrase “leave to,” which suggests survivor benefits. Those benefits would only be available to your spouse, your children, or other family members who are your legal dependents. (Grandchildren or parents who qualify as legal dependents could receive child benefits or survivor benefits.)

But those aren’t what you’re referring to.

You’re likely referring to a significant other who serves as an alternative to a spouse. They might not be married, but emotionally – or affectively – the connection is similar to that of a spouse. However, that’s not enough for Social Security.

Some state-level exceptions exist, and common-law marriage may be one of them. Even if you didn't have a traditional marriage ceremony, didn't obtain a marriage license, or didn't follow usual marriage procedures, Social Security recognizes your marriage if you're considered married under your state's common-law rules.

A few states still recognize registered domestic partnerships that offer inheritance rights similar to those of a spouse. The law considers them spouses for that specific purpose. In this case, Social Security acknowledges that status when granting survivor benefits, but you must be registered as a domestic partnership or civil union with those specific rights.

Another situation where a significant other might access Social Security benefits occurs when a person dies and has a child with a partner. If the child is young or disabled, the surviving partner could qualify for mother’s or father’s benefits as the parent of the deceased Social Security recipient’s child, even if they never married. The main difference is that these benefits are not guaranteed for life; they last until the child ages out and may continue longer if the child is disabled.